1. Any adult romance novel that uses the term "kinky fuckery" has my attention
2. I am intrigued by the idea of a romance novel that focuses on a monogamous relationship instead of the typical "Oh, I am confused because I am torn between two lovers" syndrome. (Not to mention the added element of previously mentioned "kinky fuckery".)
3. However, I am seriously sick of women characters that are supposedly "stronger than they know" yet continue to make stupid choices including becoming involved in unhealthy co-dependent relationships under the guise of passion, sexual attraction, and love.
So you see why I am perplexed?? Let me explain more...
I read the trilogy over the past few weeks and I have really been trying to digest the mania that is surrounding these books. I typically read some trashy romance novels over the summer to balance my usual reads so I figured I would give in to the hysteria just to see what all the hullabaloo is about. Albeit these books are much darker than the traditional run-of-the-mill harlequin romance novel, I had no qualms about diving right in.
From the view of pure lustful trash the books are great. The end.
Just kidding.
I do have a few issues with the "sex" part of the books. My biggest question is how does one go about writing about a kinky sexual lifestyle in the first place? Do you research it by joining some websites, interviewing people, trying it out yourself? I would be very interested in finding out how the author went about her research before writing. I want to know if the exploits she wrote about are true to detail.
Secondly, the terminology used was a little redundant. How many euphemisms exist for the male and female form? I got so sick of reading about "her sex". Ugh, if the terminology had been half as creative as some of the sex I wouldn't have been rolling my eyes so much.
I found it hard to believe that Ana became such a sex nymph in such a short amount of time given her innocence when the relationship started. I have no doubt that a man can have the libido and desire of Mr. Grey but I do have serious doubts about the time turnaround between some of their sexual encounters. Real men, unless "medicated", can not, in real life, be aroused so quickly after one sexual encounter to be ready for another encounter. But it isn't the first time, or the last, that a "trashy romance novel" has set the standards and expectations so incredibly high, unrealistically high, that women are constantly disappointed when real life men fail to meet those expectations.
To critique the books I will say that I wasn't that impressed with the literary quality. I felt that the characters were one dimensional and it took much too long to delve into the psyche of Christian, who for being such a "sexual deviant" was all too willing to give "vanilla" sex a try. The fact that he was into some pretty kinky stuff was really the only thing that held the trilogy apart from the typical "hearts & flowers" Harlequin type romance; which ironically Christian ultimately does to win over Ana.
At one point Christian finally hits his breaking point when he believes Ana is leaving him and he falls to his knees in front of her, a broken man. I thought to myself, "Finally! We are going to get inside this man's head to find out why he is so fucked up!" But ultimately, instead of delving into his mind and watching their connection grow (which could have help support her choice to stay with him later in the series when he says and does some pretty unspeakable and unforgivable things) there were additional story lines that were introduced that were really superficial to the overall plot. While I did feel their heat with one another I never felt their intimacy. I felt some of their most intimate moments with one another were their email correspondence with one another. (Ladies: if your most intimate moments and conversations are electronic consider that a red flag warning!)
I was repeatedly distracted by the language both in tone and in vocabulary as the setting was Seattle but the characters continued to come off as "overly British." And while the fantasy of the rich, handsome, eligible bachelor is alluring, Christian was so overly wealthy that it wasn't even believable.
Christian was the only character I could even picture in my head. He was somewhere between a messed up Chris Pine (when he was the sweet, sexy, vulnerable Christian) and a dark Jake Gyllenhaal (when he was the sexed up, messed up, self proclaimed 'Fifty Shades of fucked up' Christian.) The other characters never materialized in my mind and being a very visual reader it was very irritating to not be able to visualize the characters.
This series did get me to thinking though...Why is it that women are so caught up in the fantasy of taming the bad boy? It's no wonder men stay in a constant state of confusion. Women ask, "Where are all the good guys?" but their actions prove time and again that they are drawn to the dark, mysterious, fucked up bad boy. To this I roll my eyes and fake vomit.
Please girls...ladies...listen to these wise words. Men.do.not.change.EVER. You are not going to tame the bad boy, solve his problems, exorcise his demons, be his reason for living/changing/believing/existing. Life is NOT a book or a soap opera. Guys that are that fucked up are just more trouble and drama than they are worth in the long run. (No matter how good the sex is.) True story.
I dated plenty of bad boys in my time and not one of them ever chose me in the long run. Big shocker, I know because I am flippin' awesome and have the moves like Jagger. The truth is I wasn't serious about any of them so when it ran its course I wasn't that devastated. I had very specific criteria for the one I would spend my life with and no where on the list was "fucked up", "mommy issues", or "needs therapy". Trust me, I got plenty of crazy for the both of us as most of us ladies do.
I find it a little disturbing that women are going crazy for Mr. Christian Grey...posting all over the Internet about finding "their Christian Grey" that I wonder if I am the one that is confused or if it is all these women?? Do they really want a guy that is so messed up that he uses sex as a coping mechanism and a weapon to take out his anger, pent up frustrations, and deep seeded hatred for his birth mother? Really? Or are they just wanting a man that is so driven by sex, so in tune with how to please a woman, so willing to explore and experiment, that he practically oozes liquid sex? I hope it is the latter because my concern is that so many woman and young girls just don't have the ability to discern the difference.
This is commentary more on society than the books themselves but there seems to be a trend lately with dark romance bordering on co-dependence, lust, passion, and control. Lust and passion for one another is fine but mixed with the other characteristics and without any deeper kind of connection is only a recipe for a very unhealthy relationship. The relationship between Anastasia and Christian is a prime example of the relationship being initially and ultimately built on sexual attraction, acting upon that impulse, and then attempting to build a deeper meaningful bond later. In the books, true love and all that is good ultimately prevails (although painstakingly so) with Christian trusting Ana with his deepest darkest secrets and living happily and kinkily every after. But again that alludes women into thinking that sex can come first in a relationship when in reality that just isn't true. If only women could read romance fiction literature for what it is...fiction and live in reality using their head to guide their decisions where men are concerned instead of their hearts...or their loins.
Don't get me wrong...I read all three books in just over a week (and learned a thing or two along the way) and in traditional voyeuristic fashion I will anxiously await the news of casting the inevitable movie.
The Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack that played in my head while I was reading:
Mercy by Duffy
Gravity by Sara Bareilles
Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode (Really any song from the Violator album)
Bring Me To Life by Evanescence
Dirty Little Secret by the All American Rejects
To Make You Feel My Love by Kris Allen (Originally by Bob Dylan, covered by Garth Brooks and most recently Adele)
