2. Galileo Galilei
3. Charles Dickens
I finally got around to reading a book I have been wanting to read for awhile; How They Croaked by Georgia Bragg. I love a good biography especially if I am learning something new and interesting and this book did not disappoint. In fact, it was quite intriguing and even comical at times.
Here are the highlights of some of my favorite awful ends:
1. Cleopatra: Let's face it...she was one fierce diva. She ruled a country with perfect makeup and never missed an opportunity to add new accessories to her vast collection. Cleopatra, you had me at accessories. Men flocked to her, fell in love with her, and even worshiped her. Men that traveled great distances to Eqypt for the sole purpose of overthrowing her couldn't even resist the powers of her charm and seduction. (I'll have what she's having, please.) And when the Romans did eventually overthrow Egypt she was determined not to go down without a fight. Taking her most trusted BFF's and all the accessories they could carry she barricaded herself inside a tomb. I won't spoil the rest of the story for you but I will tell you this...what ended up being the death of her wasn't the poisonous snake (as so dramatically depicted by Liz Taylor) but she did go out on her own terms looking perfectly fabulous.
2. Galileo Galilei: (Sidenote: To all the mothers-to-be out there...before you name your child say it out loud a time or two, write it down even. For the love of chocolate use some common sense when naming your child. For example never name your child after your favorite food or drink unless you want them to grow up to be a stripper. {e.g. Candy, Chardonnay, etc.} Never use a name that is already part of your last name. The ONLY time this even remotely worked was for Chaz-Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory...and I am pretty sure that was done is a purely satirical manner.)
Galileo was a rock star before his time even conducting experiments with wine. Galileo, you had me at wine. (Ummm...why couldn't I have had a professor like this??) And although his ideology went against the church beliefs he published his teachings anyway. That was a rock star move and the first real "screw you" message he sent to the church. I won't ruin the story of his awful end but I will tell you that his rock star moves and messages didn't stop there and even followed him into death when he sent the ultimate "screw you" when his middle finger was placed on display in a museum in Florence, Italy. (Which I personally visited back in 2005) That is a true rock star move. (Even if unintentional)...Well played Galileo, well played.
3. Charles Dickens: To quote Bragg, "Dickens was incredibly talented, but he was also a moody, dirt-phobic, control freak." Oh Dickens, you had me at moody. Who knew Dickens and I have so much in common? I can relate to being moody, dirt-phobic, and a control freak. People usually say those things like it's a bad thing. (Insert rolling eyes here) There are way worse things in life to be...like a criminal...or stupid. Besides, being a successful control freak is really more about the way in which you control. Let's face it...most people just want to be told what to do because thinking is hard. To the haters I also would like to quote Bragg and simply say, "shutyourwordhole". This is now one of my new favorite phrases and I plan to use it as often as possible. Thank you, Georgia Bragg. I promise to use my powers of mind control for good to get as many people as I can to read your fabulous book. (It sure would be nice to have an autographed copy for my library. Hint, Hint.)
(Subliminal message inserted here: Get this book and read it immediately.)
