1. A pole is stationary and therefore provides resistance
2. Aerial arts requires an abnormally ridiculous amount of upper body and core strength (neither of which I have)
3. It's hard to look sexy when your ankle is tangled up in fabric and your veins are popping out of your neck.
So this year I have declared as the year I start my bucket list. I am going to do one thing per month that I haven't ever done before as part of the "I am turning 40 this year and therefore I will start living life to its fullest" plan.
In January a friend and I went to a pole dancing class. It was two hours long and the first hour was all floor work working your core and teaching you ways to look sexy while exercising. All this time I thought strippers had an easy job. Turns out lying there moving your legs in a bicycling motion for more than, oh let's say 1 minute, is really really hard. I mean really really hard. If you don't believe me, give it a try. (I wasn't even wearing a thong either so that would add a whole other element) I feel badly now for the few times I have been in a strip club tipping only a few dollars. We also learned to do what our instructor (who was an elementary teacher by day) called "the showstopper"; a move guaranteed to get your significant others attention of whatever he/she is ignoring you for. I have yet to attempt the use of said move.
The second half of the class was actually learning to work the pole. There's a phrase I never thought I would use. I learned to do what they call in the "biz" a firefly move. Here is a little video tutorial of what I learned: Firefly Move It took a few attempts to get the hang of it (no pun intended) and to start getting into the rhythm of it but once I did I was having a blast. I came away sore & bruised but feeling very empowered and very sexy! I even took one of my last turns on the pole wearing some silver sequined heels. It was an addictive feeling. I am going to go back for another class. I might even have a party there! I highly encourage women to visit the S Factor Studio and take at least one class.
February was the month of the Aerial Arts. Video of "Beginning Aerial Fabric" A few friends and I went on a rainy Saturday morning to an industrial building in downtown Houston to fly through the air with the greatest of ease. A few minor things I should point out: flying through the air for me meant being roughly 18" off the ground AND it was not with ease. In fact it was with great difficulty. It did NOT look like the video clip above. I did not feel sexy. There were no sequins. I would like to blame my height (too tall) on the reason I didn't take to it very easily but in reality the truth is that I have no upper body strength or core strength. Be right back, I need a cupcake. Okay, where was I? Yes...no core strength. No upper body strength. Everybody all caught up? Great. Moving on...
I felt pretty good about my attempt at the "aerial arts" until the instructor told me she had been doing it for about 2.5 years shortly after having a c-section. I said, "Oh I know...I had two c-sections myself and that lower abdomen just isn't the same." (Thankfully she didn't ask how old my kids were then I would have been forced to admit that my two back to back c-sections took place in 1996 and 1997.) I tried to get my friends to agree to jump her and let me beat her up but they didn't go for it. (Note to self: find some bad ass friends not afraid to take someone down.)
It was a lot more difficult than they make it look. It is tiring and I am pretty sure I used muscles that hadn't been used in quite awhile. I did have fun though. I had a lot of fun which was the point. Have fun with friends trying something new. Would I do it again? Yes but only once I admit to myself that I am only in it for fun and not actually under the impression that I am going to be so fabulous at it that a scout will recruit me for Cirque du Soleil.
Now the pole dancing...well that is an entirely different story.
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