The Shrew Should Be Tamed

1.  She isn't a "Real Housewife" and therefore she can't properly wear bitchy and pretentious.
2.  I am debating adding it to my bucket list.
3. It's a democracy and the majority rules. (Even the silent majority)


What is the definition of a shrew?  The online dictionary states:

"1. Resembling a mouse but having a long pointed snout and small eyes and ears. 

2. A woman with a violent, scolding, or nagging temperament; a scold."

I was actually shocked to NOT see the face of the woman I thoroughly despise looking back at me although the little rodent looking picture did look seemingly familiar.   Perhaps she is a shape-shifter; like that little rat, Scabbers, in the Harry Potter series.  It would answer so many questions.   I know that at this point you are either laughing hysterically because you know exactly who I am referring to, you are laughing hysterically because you know someone just like her, or you are very intrigued and want to know more. CONGRATULATIONS!   I am naturally a detailed and long winded story teller and today I am slightly hormonal so you are in luck!

There is this woman I work with...well not directly work with, indirectly work with.  We don't work together day to day in the same building but we are a part of a larger group with a common goal.  Unless the goal is not her goal, then all bets are off.  You see, this shrew believes she is a god, or at the very least a demi-god.  Her opinion is the only opinion that matters and she will badger you and attempt to intimidate you until you agree with her.  I can barely stand to be in the same room with her because of the stink of her giant ego.  

At every single meeting she goes on and on simply for the sake of listening to herself speak because no one else gives a damn about anything she says.  I don't know why the leader(s) appease her because all it does it cause her to think she is more important than she is and cause a silent (and cursing) revolt amongst the masses. 

Even her emails can induce a coma and homicidal thoughts.  She goes on and on with technical terms no one knows, understands, or gives a damn about.  I have gone back and forth between wondering if she can seriously be that clueless or if she just uses terminology no one can understand to make herself feel superior.  I used to pity her but now she just irritates me.  I mean on a scale of irritating range 1 to 10 I would have to say that a yeast infection is about an 8 and she runs between a 7-10 depending.  If there were ever a time I had to be in her presence WHILE I had a yeast infection I am pretty sure someone would have to medicate me.

She utterly hates it when anyone has the audacity to question her or offer up a different opinion and if you really want to get under her skin just remotely imply anything regarding copyright infringement.  That just about sends her over the edge.  Last week she attempted a passive aggressive attack on me through the new (and ridiculously flawed) inter-library loan system but I don't play like that so I harnessed my ninja-like passive aggressive skills and threw a few back in her direction.  

When it comes to her I try to carefully choose my battles.  This year was the year that I officially deemed the year I was going to tame the shrew or at the very least have fun trying.  I kind of view it as part hobby part community service.  As the second semester wages closer and closer to Spring Break I have to say that she is still in her natural, untamed state (somehow I knew she wouldn't go down easily) but I sure have enjoyed the ride so far.  It has been so freeing to finally click "send" to those emails instead of "delete".  

Now before you go get all "this is a no bully zone" on me, SHE is the real bully.   I am simply standing up to her and giving her a taste of her own medicine.  I know that I am speaking for the majority and I don't mind being the one to have the balls big enough to finally do it because when I go to sleep at night I don't really give a crap what she thinks of me.  I have no respect for someone who condescends and patronizes her colleagues.

I kind of have this fantasy where I am the "Rosie the Riveter" or the "Gloria Steinem" of the library world, or at least the library world of which I am part.  I get to stand up to her in a meeting and say things like, "You can't handle the truth!", sing songs like, "Ding Dong the witch is dead" (not really; merely symbolically...c'mon, I am not that much of a bitch!)  and then everyone hoists me up on their shoulders and carries me out while chanting my name all "RUDY! RUDY!" style.  Ahhh, a girl can dream, can't she? 

P.S.  I am choosing to NOT properly cite my source above just because I know it would drive her to insanity.  It really IS the little things in life. : )